MENS WORK
A PERSONAL JOURNEY INTO BROTHERHOOD, PURPOSE & SELF-DISCOVERY
RESOURCES
A collection of men's groups, facilitators, podcasts, books, and people I've discovered over the last three years of doing this work.
Men's Groups & Communities
Arka Brotherhood
In-person and online men's groups focused on building brotherhood, accountability, and personal growth through committed weekly circles. This was my gateway into men's work. I spent a year and a half in a group in Squamish and walked away with friendships I know will last a lifetime.
Connor Beaton / ManTalks
Connor is a men's coach, author, and host of the ManTalks podcast. His work explores masculinity, relationships, emotional intelligence, childhood wounds, and the unconscious patterns that shape our lives. A great starting point if you're curious about men's work, with online groups, programs, and plenty of free educational content.
Travis Streb
Travis offers a variety of ways to get involved in men's work, from free monthly men's nights in Deep Cove, Vancouver, to online immersive programs, one-on-one coaching, and retreats across Canada and the United States. A good option if you're looking for an introduction to men's circles or want to explore deeper personal work.
Ian Cole / NURTR Wellness
Ian works with men through embodiment, emotional awareness, nervous system practices, and personal development. He also hosts a free monthly men's night in Squamish, BC, making this a great local starting point if you're curious about experiencing a men's circle without committing to a longer program.
Max Trombly / A Shift in Being
Max focuses on masculine leadership, relationships, emotional maturity, and taking ownership of your life. His work combines direct coaching with deeper exploration of unconscious patterns, personal integrity, and purpose. He offers an online community, individual coaching, men's programs, and immersive retreats.
Expansive Man
A British Columbia-based men's community offering in-person retreats, online group programs, and opportunities to build brotherhood. Their work focuses on self-leadership, emotional growth, accountability, and exploring the deeper parts of yourself. They also offer multi-day men's initiation retreats in BC.
Podcasts & Videos
ManTalks with Connor Beaton
One of my favourite starting points for anyone curious about men's work. Connor explores everything from relationships, attachment styles, childhood wounds, emotional intelligence, and masculine psychology to becoming a more grounded, self-aware man. His conversations are accessible, practical, and often challenge the way we think about ourselves.
Books
Men's Work — Connor Beaton
A practical introduction to understanding the unconscious patterns, emotional wounds, and behaviours that keep men stuck. Connor combines psychology, personal stories, and exercises to help men take greater ownership of their lives. Probably the book I'd recommend starting with if this world is completely new to you.
The Way of the Superior Man — David Deida
A provocative exploration of masculine purpose, relationships, sexual polarity, and what it means to live with integrity. Deida challenges men to stop avoiding discomfort, develop a stronger sense of direction, and bring more presence into their relationships. Some of the ideas are unconventional, but that's part of what makes the book interesting.
From the Core — John Wineland
A deeper exploration of embodied masculinity, emotional presence, intimacy, and relationships. Wineland focuses on moving beyond intellectual understanding and learning to actually feel, regulate, and express what's happening within you. Particularly valuable for men interested in embodiment and developing greater emotional depth.
The Masculine in Relationship — G.S. Youngblood
A practical guide to developing grounded masculine presence in romantic relationships. It explores emotional regulation, leadership, boundaries, and how to stay connected during conflict rather than withdrawing, reacting, or shutting down. A great resource for men who recognize recurring patterns in their relationships and want to show up differently.
King, Warrior, Magician, Lover — Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette
A classic exploration of four masculine archetypes and how they influence our psychology, behaviour, and personal development. The authors examine both the healthy and shadow expressions of each archetype, offering a framework for understanding our strengths, blind spots, and areas for growth. A more psychological and symbolic read than the other books on this list.
Instagram Accounts
@ryanmoresbywhite
Content exploring men's personal development, relationships, emotional awareness, and the inner work involved in becoming a more conscious man.
@mantalks — Connor Beaton
Short, digestible insights into masculine psychology, attachment, relationships, emotional patterns, and personal growth. A great account to follow if you want regular reminders to look a little deeper at yourself.
@ian.coll — Ian Cole
Men's embodiment, emotional awareness, and personal growth, with a focus on bringing more presence and connection into everyday life. Also a useful connection for anyone in the Squamish area looking to explore local men's work.
@matthewpvincent
Perspectives on masculinity, self-awareness, relationships, and the process of doing deeper personal work. Another voice to explore as you discover which approaches and teachers resonate with you.
@maxtrombly — Max Trombly
Direct conversations about masculine leadership, relationships, integrity, personal responsibility, and the patterns that hold men back. Particularly relevant for men looking to develop stronger self-leadership and take greater ownership of their lives.
How I Found My Way Here
Three years ago, a major turning point in my life led me down a path I never expected. What followed was a journey of self-discovery, brotherhood, and personal growth that fundamentally changed how I see myself, my relationships, and the world around me.
Three years ago, I found myself in one of the darkest valleys of my life.
An eight-year relationship with a woman I deeply loved had come to an end. Someone I'd imagined growing old with, building a future with, and sharing this lifetime alongside.
And suddenly, that future was gone.
The rug had been pulled out from underneath me.
Looking back, I see this as one of life's great initiations.
I think a lot of men find their way into this work through some kind of rupture. A relationship ending, the loss of someone they love, financial collapse, a health crisis, or simply waking up one day and realizing they've been asleep at the wheel.
As much as I wish it weren't this way, sometimes it takes an incredible amount of pain before we're willing to look at the parts of ourselves we've spent a lifetime avoiding.
For me, heartbreak was that doorway.
And men's work couldn't have entered my life at a better time.
I Thought It Was Some Hippie Bullshit
I'll be the first to admit that when I initially heard about men's work, I was pretty skeptical.
A bunch of guys sitting around in a circle talking about their feelings?
What the hell are they actually doing?
Am I supposed to open up and be vulnerable with a bunch of men I don't even know or trust?
It just didn't feel like something for me.
Ironically, my former partner had encouraged me to explore this kind of work long before our relationship ended. There were parts of myself she could see that I wasn't yet willing or able to look at.
Finding Brotherhood
My introduction to men's work came through the Arka Brotherhood.
For a year and a half, I sat in a committed men's circle in Squamish, British Columbia.
Every Tuesday evening, from 7 to 10 PM.
Three hours. Every single week.
That might sound like a ridiculous commitment, especially when life is already busy.
But something happens when you repeatedly show up with the same group of men.
You begin to know each other in ways that most friendships never reach.
You see each other through heartbreak, success, grief, relationship challenges, career changes, fatherhood, and everything in between.
You start to recognize each other's patterns. You challenge one another. You hold each other accountable. You call each other forward when someone isn't living up to what they've said matters to them.
And you learn to trust.
Not because someone says they've got your back, but because they've demonstrated it over and over again.
I walked away from that experience with friendships I believe will last a lifetime.
Men I could walk into battle with and trust with my life.
And that's something I think a lot of men are missing.
We have friends. But how many of us have true brotherhood?
What Actually Happens in a Men's Circle?
One of the biggest misconceptions I had was simply not knowing what to expect.
The truth is that men's work comes in many different forms, and no two groups necessarily operate the same way.
In my experience with Arka, a typical evening might begin with breathwork, meditation, or another embodiment practice to help everyone get out of their heads and into their bodies.
From there, we'd check in.
Twelve men sitting together, sharing what's happening in their lives. What's going well. What's challenging. Where they're struggling. Where they're growing.
One man might be standing on top of the most beautiful mountain of his life, while another is navigating his darkest valley.
And a few months later, those roles might reverse.
There's something powerful about witnessing that cycle and recognizing that none of us are alone in the ups and downs of being human.
We'd explore different topics through exercises and conversations. Relationships, money, purpose, fatherhood, childhood wounds, masculinity, emotional regulation, and the unconscious patterns shaping our decisions.
Sometimes a man would need more support and take 20 or 40 minutes to work through something with the group.
Other times, we'd simply be there to listen.
We'd often finish with accountability. What are you committing to? Where do you need to show up differently? What are you going to do before we meet again?
Then the following week, you'd return and face those same men.
It's one thing to make promises to yourself.
It's another to have a group of men who genuinely care about you holding you to your word.
Three Years of Exploring
One thing about my personality is that I love exploring.
I'm not someone who finds one philosophy, teacher, or practice and decides that's the only way.
I want to experience different approaches, learn from different people, and figure out what resonates with me.
Over the last three years, I've explored weekly men's circles, online groups, retreats throughout Canada and the United States, embodiment practices, coaching, and a wide range of teachings.
Some experiences have been incredibly intense.
Others have been subtle.
I've had my heart broken open, been challenged in ways I never expected, and learned to become more comfortable with vulnerability, discomfort, and trusting other men.
I've watched what happens when men genuinely challenge and support each other.
Iron sharpens iron.
And I've discovered that sometimes the most powerful transformation doesn't come from some massive breakthrough at a retreat.
Sometimes it comes from showing up on an ordinary Tuesday night, being honest about what's happening in your life, and having other men reflect back what they see.
Twelve different men can offer twelve different mirrors.
And sometimes one of those reflections reveals something about yourself you simply couldn't see alone.
What This Work Has Given Me
If I had to choose the greatest unexpected gift from these last three years, it would be brotherhood.
I still love being a lone wolf.
I love my independence, my solitude, and figuring things out on my own.
But now I know that I don't have to do everything alone.
I have men I can call when life gets heavy. Men who will pick up the phone, meet me for coffee, challenge me when I'm avoiding something, or simply sit with me in grief.
That kind of support changes how you move through the world.
Beyond brotherhood, this work has given me a much deeper relationship with myself.
It's helped me recognize unconscious patterns that were influencing my relationships, business, friendships, and decisions.
It's taught me to lean into the uncomfortable stuff rather than continually running away from it.
To take ownership.
To develop self-trust.
To understand my nervous system, build emotional capacity, and learn how to respond to life rather than simply react to it.
And perhaps most importantly, it's expanded my capacity to love, lead, and show up for the people who matter most to me.
I don't believe becoming a man is about having everything figured out.
For me, it's about continually learning to take responsibility for your life, understand your shadows, discover what you're here for, and eventually use what you've learned in service of something bigger than yourself.
It's an ongoing practice.
And I still have plenty of work to do.
If You're Curious, Start Somewhere
You don't need to be going through a divorce, a breakup, or some major life crisis to explore men's work.
In fact, I wish more men would discover it before life forces them to.
Maybe you're feeling stuck. Maybe you're successful on paper but something feels missing. Maybe your relationships keep running into the same challenges.
Or maybe you're simply curious.
My advice?
Start exploring.
Listen to a podcast. Read a book. Reach out to someone who's involved in this work. Find a local men's night or join an online group.
And if you're willing, give it a real chance. Try showing up consistently for two or three months before deciding whether it's for you.
You might feel uncomfortable.
You might be challenged.
You might have to look at parts of yourself you've been avoiding.
But isn't that part of the point?
And if you still think it's some hippie bullshit, fair enough.
Maybe it is.
But you won't know until you try.
Why I'm Sharing This
As I come through what feels like a three-year initiation into a new chapter of my life, I've been reflecting on how much this work has given me.
I think we've lost touch with the importance of initiation in our modern Western world.
The journey from boyhood into manhood isn't necessarily marked by a single event anymore.
For me, it has been a process of learning to take ownership of my life, developing self-leadership, building trust in my own inner guidance, and discovering how I want to show up in this world.
And now I feel called to give something back.
There's something incredibly meaningful about moving through difficult experiences, gathering the lessons, and eventually being able to offer those lessons to someone else.
That's why I've put this page together.
Not because I'm an expert.
Not because I've figured it all out.
But because I've spent three years exploring this world, and perhaps some of the people, communities, and resources that have helped me can help you too.
If even one man finds his way into a room where he feels genuinely seen, supported, challenged, and understood, then sharing this will have been worth it.
You don't have to walk this life alone.
And you don't have to wait until everything falls apart to start looking inward.
There are men out there doing this work, asking the same questions, navigating the same challenges, and choosing to show up for themselves and the people they love.